Last Saturday we left home for a few days away. Allowing for wee and tantrum stops, the car journey was supposed to take 8 hours. It took 25.
Here is what I have learnt.
1. If you want to leave by 9am, get up at 3.15am, even if everything is packed.
2. The clonking noise your car has been making for the last two years, will get exceedingly louder and the probability of losing all four wheels and improvising à la Flintstones increasingly higher.
3. When you turn around and drive 100km to borrow a car from an unsuspecting family member, the driver will declare the holiday off.
4. After eating, the driver will declare the holiday back on.
5. The Frozen CD will make a screechy groaning noise and stop working, Parental karaoke version not accepted.
6. There will be tears and cries of “I want to go home. No holiday, home”
7. Smarties are not the ideal car journey sweets, unless you want to spend the next 23 hours, retrieving them from different orifices of the car and then be accused of giving the yellow smartie to the wrong owner. Stick of Rock all the way.
8. Glue or velcro your child’s shoes to their feet to avoid the “Mummy, I left my shoe in the loo” conversation, just as you have re-joined the motorway.
9. The BEST most hilarious game ever is winding both front windows down and creating a theme park style wind tunnel in the back.
10. When you get home after an amazing few days away, there will be “I want to go back on holiday” tears, mostly mine.