MOVING ON TO 2016

If I were some sort of boffin and had to produce a diagram representing 2015, it would look a bit like this;

 

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It’s a pie chart, not a bejazzled acorn…

 

But as moving on seems to have been a bit of a theme this year, I am going to wave off 2015 and gallop (possibly stumble) into 2016 with gusto. I´m not making any resolutions as I will lose the piece of paper I wrote them on, or it will be used for snot or other child sized bodily fluids. However, I think if the boys had to make my resolutions for me, they would probably go a bit like this;

  1. Chill out about punctuality; It’s so last year. It’s really ok if we turn up late for school, there’s no rush as long as we show our faces before 3pm, it’s cool.
  1. Stop pretending you’re trying to find a screwdriver in the cupboard under the stairs, we know you’re downing tubes of Smarties and scoffing Pom Bear Crisps. Come out of the cupboard and share the love.
  1. Bedtime? Playing on the Wii time limits? Forget about them; there is no need. Your world (ours) will be a better place without them.
  1. Save money by ditching the green stuff on the weekly food shop. Replace it with Kinder Surprises. (Toy and food – nutrition and pleasure -bargain!) it’s much better for our souls than veg.
  1. Stop saying No. Replace with “Yes of course!“ at all times.
  1. Embrace the small triumphs. We see how hard you try to overcome hurdles like getting into your most definitely last year´s size Your routine needs a bit of tweaking, but even if you need a bit of a rest afterwards your perseverance is admirable.
  1. Don’t beat yourself up about the effect you and Daddy separating is having on us. We are excited about having two places to live and all the (guilt presents) stress-free fun times we’re going to have with two much happier parents.
  1. Enjoy 2016 and take (add to our collection of plastic crap) each day at a time.

 

 

 

*A huge hearty thanks to everybody who contributed to the green sparkliness..

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IT’S EMOTIONAL, BUT IT’S WORTH IT!

 

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According to a survey of 2000 UK mums carried out by Nurofen for Children, when asked how they found the first year of parenthood and the emotions they experienced, the answers were these;

1. Tiring 69%
2. Love 59%
3. Amazing 48%
4. Fatigued 46%
5. Joyful 44%
6. Stressful 43%
7. Hard 38%
8. Chaotic 36%
9. Lonely 29%
10. Wonder 29%
I am now in my sixth year of parenthood and I experience these emotions daily, normally all of them in the space of the school run (please replace run with very slow dawdling, tantrum filled walk)
Here is my breakdown of those emotions in order of appearance.
1- Fatigued;
 This is how I feel before I even wake up. Luckily we have a faulty stormtrooper alarm clock that flashes and screams to bring us out of our warm peaceful cocoons and fall into reality with a bump and a bit of a grump.
2-Amazing;
It is truly AMAZING that every morning we go through the same groundhog day rigmarole of groans, moans, breakfast complaints (who knew that if you ignore your shreddies until 30 seconds before you need to leave, they turn into a large congealed lump?) strops, refusal to put our coat on , remembering we need a poo as we are leaving, crying that we still don’t have a car (this is mostly from me) , hilarity that Mummy has something unidentified stuck to her nose and is still in her slippers.
3-Stressful;
 Yes, education is necessary and all that. But there is SO much to remember of a day! Packed lunches, one with crusts, one without. Money for toast, money for mufti day, money just in case. Homework. Readers. Socks. School monkey… If you leave the house with less than six bags, you have most definitely forgotten something.
 4-Hard;
 When it’s -6 outside and the boys are clamoring for a day off, it is incredibly hard not to bribe them all the way to school, with two packs of smarties and a creme egg. ( There is a small possibility this might have happened …..)
5-Chaotic;
 Baggage, children, busy roads, knotty hair and all the rest makes the time before school ever so slightly chaotic, factor in a Mum who hasn’t managed her 3 coffees yet and chaos is rife.
6-Lonely;
 It is so easy to feel that you are in this alone, especially when you walk past the other parents with their beautiful glowing faces and perfectly behaved pristine children and pull along book bags. DO NOT BE FOOLED! A quick survey conducted via whatsapp in the last 2 minutes amongst some of my closest parent friends, shows that we are all in this congealed cereal state together. I promise!
7-Tiring;
 Having the same conversation about how you don’t have Inspector Gadget arms or Superman biceps and can’t carry both children over your shoulders (45+ kilos of combined child weight) at once, does get a tad tiring, but it’s apparently a necessary part of our daily walk.
8-Joyful;
 This is how you feel when you have got to the playground and handed them over to people in a position of much more responsibility of you, you walk away with a positive spring  in your step, you did it! Hooray! this process doesn’t need to be repeated for another 23 hours . The joy is immense!
9-Wonder;
 This is what goes through your mind along with fear, when you hear the teacher and your eldest son  calling, yelling your name. You are a millimeter away from the school gate.. but you turn back , to see your son telling you that he forgot to tell you something really important. Worry sets in that you have forgotten something vital like … well you can’t think of it , cos’ you haven’t had your coffees…
10-Love;
 The eldest didn’t run out to tell you off for not putting enough ham in his sandwich, he has run to tell you that he in fact loves you , more than Lego. You melt into a puddle of unhinged parental emotion, he skips off happily , oblivious to the fact that despite your grumbling, you would in fact do the school run a zillion times a day if it meant that every now and again, you get the biggest confidence boost ever.
I am a member of the Mumsnet Bloggers Network Research Panel, a group of parent bloggers who have volunteered to blog about a specified subject or review products, services, events and brands for Mumsnet. I have editorial control and retain full editorial integrity. I have been entered into a prize draw to win a £100 voucher as a token of thanks for this post”.
 

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A blogging brilliant day!

Just in case I haven’t mentioned it enough on social media or to anyone who has crossed my path (no matter how random), I went to Mumsnet Blogfest 2015 on Saturday and it was out of this world AMAZING! I went there like an overly excited teenager allowed out for the first time with no curfew (I even emptied my bag of squashed bananas and pants but seemed to miss the transformers poster, loo roll and a wind-up super Mario) and I left floating on inspiration, coffee, amazing line-ups and a few and a half bubbles or four.

TEN THINGS I LEARNT FROM BLOGFEST 2015

  1. If you have really bad circulation, don’t forget your super duper thermal tights, underwear and portable duvet as it will probably snow on your way there. IMG_3310

(I know it looks suspiciously like dandruff , but I promise it really did snow!… honest…..)

2. You will feel incredibly extra important when handed your name badge. You have an identity! You’re nobody’s Mum for the whole day, well you obviously are, but nobody is going to come and wipe their snot on your face or cry because you took the stairs and not the escalator (Unless you are extremely unlucky)

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3. The line-up was overwhelmingly amazing, just incredible. I was a star-struck fan during every talk, presentation and session, hanging on to every word like an over amorous monkey.

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4. That we are our own worst enemy. We need to believe in ourselves and big ourselves and everybody else up daily, if not hourly. ( I wanted to write minute-ly but it didn’t look right; as you can see.)

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5. Everybody has a story to tell and there are some incredibly brave people out there and if by sharing your experiences it helps just one person then you’re doing a better than great job.

6.You won’t go hungry or thirsty; the food was out of this world delicious , coffee was on tap and there was a whole table dedicated to puddings and chocolate. AMAZING!

(There are no photos of the food as I was too busy snaffling it up and whistling the tune to Gojetters when people commented on how fast the chocolate cakes were going)

7. Margaret Atwood got up at 4:44am her time, (US) to talk to us via live link. She rocks!

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(She’s on the screen! Looking over us all! Amazing!)

*Please excuse rubbish out of focus photos, I was too giddy with excitement and couldn´t stop wobbling! 

8. The team who organise Blogfest have magic powers. From the outside, it  looked flawless, they were unflappably awesome and very helpful and patient when dealing with slightly lost and confused bloggers. (I’m talking about “my friend” of course)

9. I may have a teeny tiny columnist crush on one of the speakers, who in his book “How to be Beth´s a husband” wrote an ace message and it is one that was reiterated by every speaker and panelist. Nobody ever made it big through watching Homes under the Hammer or This Morning.. (Note to self to tell afore mentioned “friend” from point 8….)

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10. Take seven and a half incredibly large suitcases to house all the amazingly fab goodies you will end up with including a ping pong ball, a swanky Boden brolly, posh body lotions and a jar of festive mayonnaise and LOADS of chocolate. Unfortunately,  there is no photographic evidence as I was pounced on whilst walking  in though the door by two over zealous hooligans who ran off with my loot , leaving me with nothing but my name badge. (“Why doesn’t it say Mu-mm-eeeee? Who’s Bet-Han?”).

IMG_3393“They showed no remorse.”

10b: Don’t be put off by the price. It is worth every single penny. If you saw any of those speakers on their own, you would pay the ticket price for each show, also if you ate and drank the quantity that’s on offer, you would spend six times that. I had to bully  ask various family members for the ticket and train fare as my Christmas present and I shall forever be indebted. While we’re on the topic, If anybody’s stuck for ideas for my birthday……

 

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My first ever post……..

For the last two years, I have wanted to write a blog. But, after perusing  other blogs, I realized that 99.9 per cent of blogs have a purpose and my purpose, was simply to write, which after my children and in second place with cheese is what I love most in the world.(Oh, and of course the children’s father!)

Everybody else seems so eloquent, I don’t really do correct punctuation or long words anymore, the longest word I know is supercalifragalisticexpialadocious, which I have most probably misspelt and the longest word I have used in the last four and a bit years is probably Spaghetti Bolognese.

Anyway, enough waffling (which is a bit of a specialty). Here I shall post snippets of the randomness that occurs on a daily basis in my world , which I share with a bonkers nearly 3 year old and an equally bonkers but slightly more sensitive 4.5 year old .Oh, we are currently living in Catalonia (Spain), land of cheap wine but have dreamy plans to return to the UK, land of crumpets .

I think that’s enough info in the way of introductions , I now feel a bit queasy but happy that I have finally written my FIRST post!

Not sure if I will press the make it public button , though. Do people write blogs just for and to themselves?….

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